For it's own sake

Snippet of conversation from Friday, October 19th, 2007 approx. 10AM.

Elsa says:
so I'll see you Sunday
Greta@work says:
perfect!
Elsa says:
brb
Elsa says:
k
Elsa says:
I have to book a hotel
Greta@work says:
k
Greta@work says:
why?
Elsa says:
cos I can't drive the whole 10 hrs in one day
Greta@work says:
oh poopie its not ten hours
Elsa says:
it is with 2 dogs
Elsa says:
and an old lady's bladder
Greta@work says:
oh bleah
Elsa says:
come get me then
Greta@work says:
lol right?
Greta@work says:
then you'd die from fright
Elsa says:
or fly me and the dogs down
Greta@work says:
then the dogs would die
Greta@work says:
its ok
Elsa says:
oh bother
Greta@work says:
it will give me time to fully recover
Elsa says:
I just ask a little bitty favor
Greta@work says:
ok fine. ill send the jet
Elsa says:
send the big one please
Greta@work says:
well im having the big one encrusted with diamonds
Elsa says:
it can land in the field at the end of the driveway
Greta@work says:
the small one will have to do
Greta@work says:
it blows bubbles now!
Elsa says:
oh cool
Elsa says:
ok then, but be sure there is plenty of filet mignon for the kids
Greta@work says:
yes dahling of course
Elsa says:
what does the pilot look like?
Greta@work says:
strapping young man with tight underwear
Greta@work says:
your stewardess is a gay boy
Elsa says:
he'd better be half naked
Elsa says:
the pilot
Elsa says:
ok the steward too
Greta@work says:
the underwear is the uniform
Greta@work says:
calvin klein's. like mark whalbergs
Elsa says:
I like red or black
Greta@work says:
i can arrange that
Elsa says:
what's like Mark's????
Greta@work says:
now, please remember to keep your hands to yourself
Elsa says:
bother
Greta@work says:
like mark whalbergs calvin klein ad
Greta@work says:










Greta@work says:
yummy
Elsa says:
that'll do!
Greta@work says:
i hope so!
Greta@work says:
ahhh, wouldn't that be nice?
Greta@work says:
oppulence for its own sake
Elsa says:
we can always dream
Greta@work says:
i love dreaming
Greta@work says:
i need to write that down

The Never Ending Website

I've been slowly feeling my way through my not-so-new website building program. It's been giving me grief. Just wanted to share that in the middle of the day I received a junk fax (we get tons) telling me if I didn't want to receive anymore junk faxes I should call this number and give them our fax numbr. Just thought it was funny. Oh and wanted to show you my progress.

Today I made a navigation bar, banner, and redid our logo. I'm going for French Classicism via New Orleans. Here's the navbar.

Tell me what you think! But when I say made, know that I MADE everything from scratch. The frame shapes are custom shapes but all the textures and effects? Mine. So be nice.

On Pause

Just a minute here to tell you some exciting things.

1. I got a promotion! I'm now Director of Sales & Marketing! Yay! Unfortunately, that means I'll have less time to bug you with the inner workings of my twisted mind. Oh well...
2. I can't remember what else there was. I guess nothing. Ok.
Well fear not.

I'll be back soon. Sooner than you think.

Design Projects #2

Rounding out our musical trilogy, this week's graphics challenge theme is My Debut Album. If you were in a band, what would be the name? First come up with a name for your imaginary (or real!) band, then create an album cover for your debut album. There is no starting image this week.

well...I wasn't able to finish today but I'll show you my progress! ok?

this real photo becomes

this line drawing becomes

this colored line drawing

Next step: shading, highlighting, and design.

I almost like it better as a plain line drawing. hm...

So I finished. I think. I took my cues from Beck's 'design your own album kit' and the sign on the front of my office door. I'm gonna maybe give it another shot tomorrow.

Design Projects

Here's the general idea. Build experience and expand your portfolio. Sounds good.
There are about 25 projects over here . Too fun.
Based on instructions from this page, I created these!

Project #1 - Poetry Book Makeover
A second printing is in the works for this ugly book!

"My Life is a Poem is a mix of happy, sad, angry, and just plain ordinary events and observations by a self-described borderline hippie who has lived all over the US but calls the New England States home even when living part of the year in a Colorado ski lodge or on an Indian reservation in Oklahoma. For the second printing the author and the publisher want something a little bit fresher, brighter. It's not necessary that the new jacket design reflect any particular poem or event but the author and publisher are looking for it to convey something of ordinary day-to-day life during the extraordinary events of that 30 year period."

I gave it two shots. I think the second one is closer although I find them both rather plain and unexciting.

Anyways! Next project is an album cover I think!

Shoot. I didn't mean to leave those guidelines in the second one. Just use your imagination.

Welcome Small Town Illinois!

Hi and welcome!

I'd like to start out with a brief introduction. We'll call it The History of Greta 101. Pictures included!

These are my parents.

They met in art school.

I was born with a heart murmurr too! Fortunately, mine closed up. Anyways, I had a pretty normal childhood. Growing up in Decatur, GA, playing, laughing, listening to your parents fight...you know, normal childhood stuff.

When I was six, my parents divorced. When I was nine, my dad remarried and had a couple sons. I love 'em to death.

When I was twelve, my mom moved me to Alexandria, Va. Where I played softball, before I got into girly stuff. I was on the yearbook staff in 8th grade. woo!

From there, it was all over.

When I was fifteen, my mom moved me to Asheville, NC. Where I finished out high school.

These are my girls. It was Halloween. I was that annoying girl who did the announcements in the morning, and the field reporter at the football games. Oh, and that hole in my eye was most likely created by my brother when, after high school, I moved back to Atlanta.

I moved out of my dad's house months later and had a daughter! Her name is Penny Lane.

She's....special.

I wanted to get Penny a playmate. Enter Abbey Road.

Unfortunately, Abbey was born with a kidney disease and fell ill before she was even grown. I had to put her down. It was one of the roughest things Ive ever had to do.

Penny never really emotionally recovered.

To ease the pain for both of us, I decided to get Penny a new playmate. Enter Jude.

In 2001, my dad had a girl. A sister!

Here's me shoving a cupcake in her mouth on her first birthday.

This is what happens when you don't get your boy cat fixed in time.

babies!

I lived in Atlanta for four years. I worked as a bartender, living the nightlife. Staying up till the sun rose and sleeping till four in the afternoon.I had a great time, but there came a point when I had to leave. So I decided to come to New Orleans! And to bring my boyfriend with me!

So now, my happy little family consists of me, my bf, Penny, Jude, Grace, and Sadie (two of the kittens we either couldn't or didnt want to give away). I work at an event planning company, busting everybody's balls. I'm the creative director and office manager. It's cool enough. What I really want to do is write. I love to tell stories. Which you should already know by now.

So that's me in a nutshell. No, this is me in a nutshell. Help! I'm in a nutshell! How did I get in here? What kind of nut has a shell this big? hee, hee.

Nice to meet you.

Disastrous Saturday 2.0

The time has come! The long awaited sequel to Disastrous Saturday #1. And if you were lucky enough to read it before the world blew up and I was forced to take it down, then you'd remember one of the very last sentences: "If we had known what was to come next Saturday, we'd consider ourselves lucky" or something to that effect. Anyways, I like to start out with a picture.

That's a big pic to give you some scale. Here's a smaller one of just the route:

Now, why all the fussy maps? I'll tell you. This is the route we walked. I will tell you the almost entirely true story. I will of course, leave some things out, but such is the way history is told.

Ok. It was Saturday July 14th, 2007. Two days before my birthday and we were smack dab in the middle of the 26th Annual Space Cowboys Ball. My friend was in town from California, and we were going out. No, I mean OUT. We were going OUT. We met at Cochon. Which is here:

The 'H' is roundabout where we live. So we just took the ferry and walked. Not too far. About 1.5 miles. Two more friends met us there.

From there, we all went to Coop's. One of our favorite dive bars. I believe someone drove us there. (It's a little fuzzy). Anyways, Coop's is here:

From there we all went to Mimi's for 70's dance night. I should tell you before we left Coop's, Jason royally pissed me off. Which is normally not hard to do, but this time it was valid. I was pissed and would be for the rest of the night. Oh yes, at Coop's, three more people joined the troupe. Now to Mimi's.

At Mimi's, we danced and some of us got accosted in ladies rooms by strange girls, and then we danced, and then I stepped outside to smoke. What followed are some messy details that I will spare you and just skip to the part where we get kicked out. Well, Jason actually, but since I was there, I'm sure you know what happened. So we get kicked out and I am so pissed at this point, I just start walking. Not very smart, considering we had ridden to Mimi's with a friend. Jason is following me. I walk 40 or so blocks before I realize I have no clue where I am. Then my shoe broke. This is when I break down crying. The fight becomes second priority when I realize, we are lost in the Marigny. Mere blocks from the Ninth Ward. At two or so in the morning. Yeah.

Up and down Poland Ave we went. And there was no one out. No cars drove by. Which is good because every time I heard an engine, I thought we were dead. I seriously doubted we'd make it home without get mugged, raped, beaten, assaulted, or killed. It was terrifying. There were no payphones, we had no cell phone, no stores, no people, no nothing. Just empty, deserted houses, and a couple crackheads every ten or so blocks who didn't bother us. Thank gawd. Oh, I feel compelled to mention that Jason was more or less certain that the Quarter was just over that bridge. Yeah, the bridge that leads into the Ninth. Now, I am usually the directionless one but I knew that was not the way. Especially when we didn't cross one getting here. Duh. I actually convince him to go the right way once but after a couple of blocks he backs out, makes me doubt myself and we turn around.

Finally, a truck with a couple of rednecks stop. I am terrified and stay back. They call out "Yall are lost aren't you?" Jason steps forward and receives the direction back to the Quarter. Back down Poland to Royal and then god, I don't know, a hundred blocks back to the ferry.

By the time we reach the Ferry, my other shoe has broken (two broken shoes!), a bum told me to wash my hair when I said I couldn't give him any change, and the sun has come up. Jason actually carries me piggyback for a couple of blocks when I start crying again. We've bought Frappacino's along with the rest of the Sunday early birds but I couldn't drink mine, it made me so nauseous. We decide to screw the two blocks it takes to get from the ferry to our house and just take a cab. The cab driver blasts his island music and speeds us home. I almost puked in the cab.

We arrive home at 7:15 A.M. Broken, dirty, and exhausted. We sleep for four hours and then have to get up to go to a baby shower. Yeah.

For this reason, along with the previous Saturday, and many other wild adventures, we always say "Never a dull moment with us!" Thank god we can laugh about it in hindsight. Thank someone anyways.

Lots and Lots of Things

The delivery man from our produce supplier asked me a while ago, where a good place to go was where he could meet both black and white people. I thought. Then I thought harder. I couldn't think of a single place, besides the club. This city is still highly segregated, and just ready to burst with teeming racial tension. I know certain people who freely use the n-word in hateful ways, yet are the first to pull the race card. Ok, one person. I'll give you three guesses...

Additionally, the premiere of Fox's K-Ville aired last night. I was impressed at the accuracy of the language. 'Neutral ground', 'How's your mom and dem', 'the Qwatah' for the French Quarter, were all correct in their local lingo. I will wait and see if the plots get any better. Oh who am I kidding? I'd watch a monkey picking it's nose. I'm easily amused. Regardless, we should all watch if to do nothing else but support the city.



What's next? I'm going to do it. I'm going to try and make a dirndl for Oktoberfest. What's that you say? I only have ten days? Oh I know...

After a couple of weeks of farting around in Second Life, I'm considering deleting it. My computer or connection is too slow for it and I haven't found anything cool to do besides shop for freebies and dance in sync. And one can only do that for so long.

I did find this cool photography studio though.


My predictions for the finale of my new guilty pleasure, The Pick Up Artist.
hm...

Brady





or


Kosmo.






Well, they're both gay. Probably Kosmo, that dork.


Every once in a while, I die of boredom. Often in the middle of a conversation. I can even bore myself. I must need Ritalin or something. Maybe I won't delete second life after all. Maybe I'll learn German.

This is an ugly post. I wish I had a typepad.

The YBC!

Now Introducing The Yummy Boys Club!
I made membership cards for all the members:








For some of these lucky members, it's more punishment than privilege but hey, membership has its benefits...

September's special exclusive member gift was this awesome desktop pic! :

yay!

In case youre silly and dont know who any of these are, I will now tell you:
December (06)- Kip Dynamite
Jan (07)- Benicio Del Toro
Feb- John Legend
Mar- Mark Whalberg
Apr- Heath Ledger
May- Keanu Reeves
Jun- the male cast of 90210
Jul- John Krasinski
Aug- Harrison Ford
Sep- Christian Bale

Here are the comments from our lovely members!
Mary- "oh. my. goodness. best poster ever..."
Suzy- "i love it!"
Lee- "thats hillarious, you are nuts!"
Sean- "thanks el presidente. i look forward to next months gift. man this club rulez"
Mick- "omg thank u so much KIsSeS"
Stef- "You are more than just president! You are a caring friend as well. THank you and all the yummy men. Kip is mine."


Yay! For October, i'm working on an animated glitter banner! Get your nominations ready for November. I'm thinking Joaquin Pheonix. October has been announced. It will be Clive Owen.

Penny's Pretty Nails

Ooh! We painted our nails yesterday! Look closely for I have not doctored this at all

(despite this face, she was extremely happy with them, showing them off all night)

Now if Grace would only let me give her that mohawk...

My Second Life

Wow. Look what I did all day! Have you heard about Second Life? It's pretty fun. You should go check it out. I'm still learning so I just shopped all day. Then I found a photo studio and took these!

Pleased to meet you. I'm Greta Gontineac.

Look at me! Aren't I pretty?

And yet, so sassy!

As you can see, I haven' quite mastered the camera controls yet. And my connection is a little slow. But whatever. Like my outfit? A little trashy? Maybe. But it's my second life! Fun.

The Pig & The Pepper

Yesterday, in the shower, I had this thought: "If I knew I was going to die tomorrow, would I still take a shower?"

Today, I made this!


Fifty points and ten kisses if you can name the book, the title of this post references.

Bier & Brat

After months of researching, traveling, and writing. The book is finished! I designed the cover all by myself! Yay! Now maybe Charlie Kaufman can write a screenplay about himself trying to write a screenplay for it. Or whatever.

Southern Decadence

Foolin around again...
You know, it occurs to me that my grandparents have the address to this blog and would probably not like this one too much. Memaw & Pop, just close your eyes and scroll down. I love you.

To Ellebug

I had all these silly little clips of Elle. So I made a movie. I wish I had had more footage to work with but overall, I'm fine with it. Hey, it's my first movie. Cut me some slack.


Sorry. I removed the video after Jason said it was too sad. I'm working on another version with a happier song and will post that soon. Now if the phone would stop ringing, I could get some work done!

Oh forget it! Here it is. The unrated version. Sad and creepy and whatever else.
Elle

Add to My Profile | More Videos

News Flash

They say watched pots do not boil. That is false.
Yesterday I watched pot of water boil. It took approximately five minutes. I used the boiling water to make a cup of instant split pea soup. It was healthy before I added all that salt.

Disastrous Saturday #1

In a nutshell: I spent five hours in an emergency room waiting lobby with a very sick pregnant woman. I saw an Asian girl who had either coughed or spat up blood and decided to bring a sample in a grocery bag, just in case someone wanted to see. I saw a woman wheeled in by a cop, who sat in her wheelchair and puked in a bag. I saw various sickies who coughed, unabashedly, right up into the air and old folks with skinned knees, and bloody eye injuries. I saw two girls with blankets and pillows and some fried chicken, like this was a slumber party. All of these folks were admitted before said pregnant woman. All in all, I left home at 11:30 or so p.m. and returned at 11:45 am the next morning. It was a rough day. Gotta love the health care in the city that care forgot.

The Office

After spending the entirety of last week, sifting through youtube to find the best clips from my new favorite obsession, The Office, I have decided that I want “Jim Halpert” to work at my office. I think there should be a contest, or an auction. Essay contest would be preferable. Oh, and if you don’t know already...

... now you know.

For all you constant imaginary readers out there, you may remember me having to be stitched up about a year ago from laughing so hard my sides split at a joke on Scrubs. Well, here is another reason why I love this show so much.

Random thoughts from June

For your reading pleasure, and no one reads this anyways, I have published a small collection of random thoughts from the month of June. These were all written on post-its and stuffed in my purse for this express purpose. See how I care for you, imaginary reader?

Some Random Thoughts collected from the month of June:

Sometimes i get scared that thunder is the blast wave rolling towards me.

At my best, i am reckless. The rest of the time, i am clumsy.

Sometimes i seriously wonder if i am my own version of the truman show. no word yet as to whether this is from my intense paranoia, self-absorption or both. more to come.

Special k commercial says girls who eat breakfast weigh less. i think girls who weigh less don't have to worry about skipping meals. so duh, they eat breakfast.

If i was a cat, i'd never have to get migraines. i'd like that.

Nothing bums me out like pulling in behind a jesus car. well, ok thats not true but i hate jesus bumper stickers.

Did you know that everytime I go into a chain music store, I take and hide all of the Jeff Buckley albums? Betcha didn't.

I do not ever want to know what is really in my hot dog, thanks.

I saw a "news" story saying Kelly Clarkson is still looking for Mr. Right. Hello, can you say dating show?!!?

I always feel good whenever I recycle our old printer cartridges but then I am perplexed upon opening the new ones and finding tons of individually wrapped packaging. Wasteful much?

My computer always starts to drag around 2:45pm. Can anyone tell me why?

I like my lips after I've eaten something.

Every minute of every hour, i love a sunflower.

There are a few JB songs that continue to allude me. Meaning I have been hunting for years and years but never successfully captured them. Most of these are covers. 'Hey Little Schoolgirl' is one. If you have any, please share.

When the universe begins to contract, will time go backwards?

Most disney movies are too sad to watch. Especially Dumbo. It really bugs me.

There are two types of drivers. Both annoy me.

What the hell happened to Kirk Cameron? He's so creepy now.

I am more afraid of the fixtures in the bathrooms (doorknobs, sink handles) then i am of the toilet.

When I'm getting a manicure and they put you under the uv light to dry, I like to pretend I am playing piano.

Maybe I do want to be some butter.

Normally, I am allergic to Christians.

Other jobs I would like to try: Sausage historian, Beach Chair Rental Person, Advertising design,

Mental note(s) to self: must learn how to type properly, or at least without curling pinky finger in air. Must see Muse live somewhere, wankers only play in Europe. Must see Honeycut live somewhere, bastards only play in Cali. Must start soul train at next party.

Am considering Muse's "Invincible" as possible wedding procession song.


what do you think? Am I utterly insane? Good.

R.I.P. Chris Benoit

Last night, I turned on WWE Raw with a sort of reluctance. I was expecting more incessant and meaningless ramblings about Mr. McMahon's "death", a rather weak storyline, if you ask me. Instead, I see Mr. McMahon in an empty arena, in the middle of the ring with a microphone. He tells us in a grave voice, Chris Benoit is dead. Not only is Benoit dead, his wife and his seven year old son are as well. I am shocked. I call Jason. He tells me to call Ray, our wrestling and general sports expert. I do. He confirms. I call Jason back to confirm. No way. We cannot believe it. The program was lengthened to three hours and dedicated to Chris Benoit. Nobody wrestles. It is a three hour sadfest. I tear up once when an announcer I despise, Jerry the King Lawler tells us to take a minute right now and tell the people in our lives that we love them. I tell my kitties. They keep giving us the bare minimum about the facts. Telling us Chris, his wife, ("Woman" for all you old school wrestling fans) and his son Daniel, were found in his suburban Atlanta home dead. They never say why or how. Jason says he wouldn't be surprised if Benoit murdered them and then killed himself. Ray says it was probably his wife. I call them silly but then today....

" Report: Benoit strangled wife, smothered son, then hung self
Associated Press
Updated: June 26, 2007, 3:09 PM ET

ATLANTA -- Pro wrestler Chris Benoit strangled his wife and smothered his son before hanging himself in his weight room, a law enforcement official close to the investigation told The Associated Press on Tuesday.

Authorities also said they are investigating whether steroids may have been a factor in the deaths of Benoit, his wife and their 7-year-old son. Steroid abuse has been linked to depression, paranoia, and aggressive behavior or angry outbursts known as "roid rage."

To read more: http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/news/story?id=2917133

We know that Benoit who was scheduled to appear on last Sunday's PPV, canceled last minute, citing "personal reasons" causing the flaming Johnny Nitro to win the ECW championship belt. But what kind of personal reasons? Jason thinks maybe his wife was trying to leave him. I do not know and I probably never will.

I'm not here to judge. No one is. I don't even want to think about his horrifyng recent actions. It's a tragic event and very sad. I just want to remember and honor his talent and his career. After all, we lost one of the better wrestlers. Now who will break Booboo's (my affectionate nickname for Sabu) neck? Who will take swan dives from the top of ladders? Who will simultaneously intimidate us and demand respect from us? The loss to wrestling is great. As more and more of the old school guys go, we are left with the testosterone pumped soap opera that wrestling has become. Rest in peace, Chris Benoit. You will be missed greatly.

Chris Benoit

1967 - 2007