Prolonging the Inevtiable

There is an air over all of us this morning. It's one of sadness and heartache. Earlier today, Jacques took his dog in to the vet to be put to sleep. She was a sweet little dog. He said her name was Jazz. I christened her Jasmine Gwendolyn LeBourgeois and affectionately called her Kitty. Jacques is putting on a super brave face this morning, but his eyes are puffy. I asked him where she was and when he said “She’s in the back of my car, wrapped in her favorite blanket”, I started to tear up. This afternoon, a couple of his friends from across the street are bringing a box and they will bury her in the field across from our offices. I bought some flowers to put in the ground.

The weather is beautiful this morning. Not a cloud in the sky and despite the chill in the air (it's an unseasonable 54 degrees), it reminds me of another morning. The morning I took my kitten, Abbey in to be put to sleep. It was beautiful like this. And I’ll never forget holding her, petting her, singing to her, as she slowly fell asleep. And then having to write a check. It was horrific experience. And even though we tell ourselves that it’s the right thing to do, that their suffering will end, and they are in a better place now, I wonder.

I wonder about death. And how it’s supposed to be comforting and a release. But those of us left here endure the pain. Death is a part of life. But this is as close as its ever come to mine. In fact, now that I think about it, every pet I’ve ever had has had their life ended by something other than old age. Mogwai was hit by a car, Nikki my mom gave away, Charlie ran away, my hamsters, Little Feet and Tiny Toes were eaten by cats, CJ was hit by a car, Ruskin was hit by a car, Abbey had a kidney disease, Melissa ate a Tylenol and died in her sleep, Jenn…trying to remember, we think she got sick and died in her sleep, my bunny Boo Boo was eaten by a wolf/dog. But I still have every member of my immediate family. All seven grandparents.

It’s strange how we put our beloved pets to sleep and end their suffering but we sweep the elderly under the rug of nursing homes, and let them wither and die for the most part. Humans are a peculiar species. The ethics and morals that we’ve been carrying around, mostly since the dawn of civilization are in need of a revolution. Lots of things in this world are in need of a revolution. How come we as humans can evolve, but our minds can’t ? It’s time to start asking ourselves why we think what we do, and what would happen if we didn’t? I’m not entirely sure if I’m still talking about death. Just wanted to say, I’m ready for the revolution. Bring it on.

So, we vote on Tuesday and today is the first morning I’ve driven by the courthouse and not seen a line around the block. I’m excited to see the results of this election. I’m voting for Obama. Though I wish he could pull a little Clinton-esque coolness out of his butt. He seems so nerdy and uptight all the time. I made my mind up after seeing Sarah Palin, who is the anti-feminist, if you ask me, wink at the VP debates. She’s like Jessica Simpson; one of those people who are great until they open their mouths. Ok, I digress.

Death is inevitable. I can only hope I go out in a stellar fashion. Possibly during a space shuttle landing malfunction, or while eating some fried okra-boom- heartache. When I get to heaven (in my head, cause you know there is no such thing) I will see all my pets and we’ll go shopping with a credit card that has no limit and I never have to pay back.

My Imaginary Wedding

It's impossible to plan all these peoples' wedding and not dream about my own. So here's what I've figured out so far will go down.

The Wedding will take place in New Orleans, LA in May or June. I think black and white with a hint of blue will be the colors. Like small blue touches, in the flowers or ribbons or something. A bright sort of robins egg blue. Maybe. or maybe not. Maybe blue for the boys, green for the girls? I'll be wearing my grandmother's dress that my mom wore also. I am going to have it altered for a hot day, which means lowering and squaring off the neckline, and cutting the sleeves to a cap sleeve length.
The Rehearsal Dinner will take place at The Duestches Haus, where traditional german food and music will be played.
I haven't figured out the ceremony but it will most likely not be performed in a church. A plantation or pecan/oak grove would be ideal. And I know that I want it to be more of a show than a ceremony so... There won't be many attendants. Three per side is ideal but four is more likely. Mike West/Truckstop Honeymoon will play the ceremony. Most likely accompanied by his wife, Katie but he can bring whoever he wants. Music like 'Magnolia Tree' is ideal. I have considered asking a friend to officiate the ceremony. Not decided yet on whether I want it to be legal and official. I've always said I wanted to get married, not be married. Also considering having Casa Samba do something cause they are so awesome. No writing-your-own vows.
After the ceremony is over, Rebirth Brass Band will lead the second line parade from the ceremony site to the reception site. Again, have not decided on a reception site. I like Gallier Hall.
John Legend will play the reception, with a special guest appearance by Alicia Keys for the bridal dance. Speaking of the bridal dance, after the traditional slow one, we will dazzle you with a quick and sexy tango! John will play a lot of his originals as well as many old school r&b Al Green, Otis Redding, and maybe even some Earth, Wind, and Fire covers. Oh, also must let my brothers get up and play a song or two with him and the band. And an impromptu harmonica performance by my dad.
Speeches by moms and dads, best man and maid of honor (who in my case is my mom). Maybe some poetry by J. Ivy! Who can stay to play my favorite version of 'So High' with John! Need to squeeze mother-son and father-daughter dance (which always makes me bawl like a baby) in here somewhere.
I'd like the chef from Stella! (Scott Boswell) to cater the event with classy contemporary creole food. Will also accept John Besh. Just had a thought! Besh has a new german restaurant. Could possibly cater the rehearsal dinner! Am considering providing no more than two signature cocktails. Verdict still out on what those would consist of.
After dinner, dancing! John can have a seat while the lights are lowered, grandparents go back to the hotel, and the DJ begins to spin. I want to DANCE! in capital letters. I expect dance music and to me, that means hip-hop. No country, christian rock, or eminem.
When it's time to go, everyone will gather on the front stairs for a fireworks display. No idea yet how this will work. Immediately after fireworks display, we leave while people throw stuff at us (no idea what yet). We depart in one of three options: a horse drawn carriage, a vintage rolls royce, or a plain old limo.

How does that sound? Expensive? Well get your pocketbooks ready then. I want a lot.

Listen now!

First, I'd like to start out by telling you how thrilled I am that my brothers have outgrown the screamo-eat-shit-death-metal that they used to play. Aren't these pictures adorable?

This is them with their new band. (yes, i photoshopped the crowd)
So without further adue, please turn your speakers up and take a gander at the groovy musical stylings of Mick, Patrick, Kyle, and Andrew collectively known as Red Sea:

Track 1: "Water"


Track 2: "Coin Collection"


Track 3: Last Song



Maybe when I get my talk show, they be the band. Tv Execs, I'm available.

What's on tonight?

Consider me a television connesieur. I relish in all aspects of the mind-numbing, brain-rotting, mental chewing gum that the tele gods want to show me. There is always, and I mean always something on. Let's take a little tour through the thre hundred or so channels and give our thumbs a little workout. Brain, you can rest now.

Sunday:
The Amazing Race, CBS.
What's good about the amazing race is also what's bad about it. There is a formula for this show. It goes something like: One very annoying constantly at each others throats couple, + no more than three freaky or geaky pair, + no more than three pretty, perky pairs = excellent television.



True Blood, HBO.
In the perhaps, not too distant future, a Japanese company invents a synthetic alternative to blood, prompting vampires all over the world to "come out of the coffin". Sookie Stackhouse, a telepathic waitress in the fictional town of Bon Temps, Louisiana, falls in love with one. Interesting show based on a book series, and adapted for the small screen by Alan Ball, creator of Six Feet Under, one of the best shows not on the air anymore. Worth a watch or two. I did mention its a murder mystery too, right?

Monday:

Whatever the new dating show on Vh1 currently is, 9/8C, Vh1.
Next Monday is the premier of VH1's newest reality dating baby, "Real Chance at Love". Where did these two come from, you ask? Get this. Flavor Flav's dating show, "Flavor of Love", created a star in Tiffany Pollard, aka New York, who landed her own dating show, I Love New York when she got dumped by Flav, not once, but twice. These boys, nicknamed, yup, Real and Chance are the latest byproducts in the long winded vh1 reality dating show family tree. And I can't not mention that in essence, these two have made out with Flavor Flav.

The Pick-Up Artist. This show is my ultimate guilty pleasure. Imagine ten super geeks, sent into a nightclub to try and pick up women. It's quite painful to watch as some are inappropriate, some are awkward, and others are just scared silly. Enter Mystery. Yes, that is his name. With an almost scientific method of picking up women, Mystery will transform and teach these socially inept dorkwads into smooth-talking, confidence oozing wolves on the prowl. One will even become the master pick up artist. Yes, he's creepy. Yes, some of the lines are lame, but I like it. Sue me.

My Name is Earl (re-runs), TBS.

Tuesday: The Office (re-runs), TBS

Wednesday:

Project Runway, 9/8C, Bravo. The ever adorable and completely enivable Heidi Klum hosts this fashion designer reality comptetion show. With a designer mentor, loveable Tim Gunn at her side and judges, the bitchy Nina Garcia and top american designer Michael Kors, the twelve to sixteen initial designers are given different challanges to showcase their creativity, inguenuity, desire, and resourcefulness and eliminated until the top three get to show their collection at NYC's Fashion Week and a winner is chosen. Great TV for fashion lovers, best when shared with a girlfriend over wine and food, and a little bit of tin foil hat making.


Top Chef, 9/8C, Bravo. When Project Runway finishes, Top Chef comes along to make us look longingly at the sumptious groumet dishes and poke around at the shake n bake' chicken dinner on our plate. Host and cookbook author, Padme Lakshmi and head chef (of what?)Tom Colicchio, present challenges to the chefs where they are eliminated off one by one until the top chef is chosen. This show makes us want to be foodies.





Thursday:
My Name is Earl, 8/7C, NBC. When a ne-er do well wins the lottery and then immediately gets his by a car, he winds up hearing about karma from Carson Daly and decides to change his life. Making a list of everything wrong, he's ever done, he and his brother, Randy set out to making things right, one by one. Despite the hidden message in this sitcom, (I normally hate being injected with reminders of real life in my tele shows), it's actually quite hilarious. Darnell, Earl's ex-wife's new husband, is a joyful treat with random nuggets of wisdom like this one :"I can't believe there's a hole behind this picture. That's a relief. Last week it was banging on the wall and I thought Jesus was mad at me for putting that Darwin fish on the back of the car. I guess it was just windy."


The Office, 9/8C, NBC. Oh my favorite show. I've seen them all, even have seasons 1 through 4 on my ipod and watch them when I'm at they gym. Based on the British sitcom of the same name, developed by genius Ricky Gervais. Steve Carrell is amazing, Rainn Wilson gives credence to super geeks everywhere and the Pam/Jim romance is just enough soap to keep us all well lubed. Best show ever.


Scrubs, (?), ABS (?). After like six seasons on NBC, the show that started it all, at least for J & I, moves to ABC. If you watch both The Office and Scrubs, you'll start to think that these two share writers. They use the same jokes with a tiny twist to make it topical. (What's up dog? and What's up doc? - which is still one of my favorite topical jokes ever) Regardless, J.D. and Turk's affectionate, sometimes inappropriate friendship carries the show, while sassy latina nurse Carla, emotional train wreck doctor Elliott, narcissitic resident Dr. Cox, the completely random and mischievious janitor, and cantankerous old Chief of Staff, Bob Kelso have provided us with some of the best quotes and jokes, this side of 2000. Like this one from Dr. Kelso: "Hmm? I'm sorry I didn't hear a word you were saying. I was thinking about soup." and "What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? (points to himself with thumbs) Bob Kelso. I thought we'd met"



Friday:
Psych, 10/9C, USA. Sometimes I have to ask myself why we watch things. And more often than not, the answer is because nothing else is on. Regardless, on a Friday night when nothing else is on, Psych will satisfy your craving for background noise while you paint your nails. Shawn, the lead character is an almost overly observant, wise-cracking free loader. His best friend, Gus, is his straight and narrow, pharmaceutical sales rep partner. Together they form, Psych. The aptly named fake psychic detective agency and work almost exclusively for the Santa Barbara police department. A funny, well put together story with some strange romantic nudges. Just where are the writers trying to take Shawn and Jules?

Real Time with Bill Maher, HBO 11/10C.
Bill Maher, comedian and political satirist, formerly of Politically Incorrect, is joined by mostly well educated representatives from various backgrounds and beliefs in this smart late night round table discussion talk show. I pretty much agree with almost everything Bill says. He's funny, brilliant, and his new rules are fabulous. Case in point : "New Rule: John McCain has to stop saying, "I know how to get Osama bin Laden." Well, if you do, then tell us now Mr. Country First. Does it involve laser beams on sharks? Is it something you read in a Hardy Boys book? Are you going to track him like Rambo? Call in the coordinates and then have Palin shoot him from a helicopter? "

Def Poetry, HBO. Question: Where has this unbelievable awesome show gone? Why did they take it off the air? With moving performances by spoken word poets both established and new, and surprising and sometimes delightful cameos by musicians and actors, this show was really what we looked forward to at the end of the week. Happy hour at the neighborhood bar and then home for dinner and Def Poetry. Late nights with The Last Poets, Alicia Keys, Kanye West, J. Ivy, Taylor Mali, Beau Sia, Black Ice, Saul Williams, Dave Chappelle, Dr. Cornell West, ....ahh. Created by hip hop mogul Russell Simmons, and hosted by Mos Def, poetry has never been so raw and real.

Saturday:

Other favorites:

The National Geographic channel is also one of my favs. When they don't show animal shows. What's up with that? I have animal planet, thank you very much. Stick to what we love you for, Natgeo. Like this (too long) hour-long special: The Giant Crystal Cave. A documentary about a Fortress of Solitude like cave found in a mine set in a mountain in Mexico. Amazing, huh?

Anthony Bourdain No Reservations, The Travel Channel. This old school cat travels to amazing locales and eats good food. And he writes. And his writing is funny, poignant, and admirable. I have rarely seen him eat something he doesn't like. What is it with tv chefs and their tastes buds? I know that authentic mexican food is not THAT good. Watch the Vietnam episode. For the first half an hour, Tony attempts to avoid getting drunk on rice wine while his host slams shots like candy. (because its rude not to drink when your host does) all the while, thinking he's going to be killed soon. Good stuff.

Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, BBC America. My grown-up Springer substitute. Talk about cantankerous, this man is downright nasty. But he does do his job. Which is what the show is. Failing restaurants call him to come in and save their establishments. I've never (even wanted to) learned so much about English cooking. Why do they call everything pudding, when it is clearly not? Christmas, Yorkshire, Figgy... What's up with that? And some of the kitchens are nasty. Honestly, if you care about your restaurant and the food you cook/serve, he's not that bad. Good stuff.

That's all I can think of at the moment. This post is already way too long. I know there's way more and if I check the DVR list and I see something that I think needs to be mentioned, I will revise. But for now, happy watching!

Bayou Mine

This weekend we went to the Barataria Preserve. Very cool.

Jason takes excellent pictures.

I would like to live in these things. Like Thumbelina.

Just love the green in this.

Had to have me in here somewhere, you know...

Saw this big guy not an arms length from the boardwalk.

Lessons I learned from my co-workers

Let's start this bright and shiny Monday by being gloomy and fed-up. Weee!

1. If you want to work at a place where they actually encourage and foster creativity and ambition, then it's best to just find a place that already does that. Rather than beating your head against the wall in an attempt to get some cranky people to realize that if they want to draw in new clients and make money, they are going to have to change a little. Best not to fight it. Best to just pack up and roll with it. That being said, I am currently seeking an opportunity within a company that does the aforementioned things and is not a family business and does not fear change.

2. If you are hired as the "Office Manager" and then are promoted three months later to Sales and Marketing Director, and then are promoted three months after that to Event Planner because of your high motivation and quick learning skills...After all that if the people in your workplace still introduce you as the "Secretary", I think you better start acting like a secretary again.

3. If you do not love food, then you cannot call yourself a Chef. If you fear change in menus and do not want to pursue new avenues within your own cooking abilities, you are a cook and will be called thus from now on. Especially when I am still being called a "Secretary".

4. If you have been driving a company truck for eleven years without a drivers license, not to mention sometimes while under the influence, you are lucky you still have a job. Let alone your freedom.

5. If you do not own the company, no matter how much time and effort you have invested into the company, it is just a job.

6. If the company is in danger of going under, stop paying your childrens cell phones and car payments through the company account. Right?

7. Work is not, was never, is never going to be, fun

8. more as I think of them...

Postedit: 10/17: I heard Gloria Steinham say something to the effect of; If you realize you're in the wrong party, then it doesn't matter what you say or do, so you might as well do what you want. I think that applies nicely.

Obama yall...

Last night I had a dream that we all lived in grey, shabby tents. It was a new eco-friendly lifestyle we were calling Ah-living. Or maybe it was another apocolyptic dream foretelling of the depression we're all going to be living in soon. I wonder what we'll call this one... The Greater Depression? The Greatest Depression? The Mediocre Depression? hm...

From 'Real Time with Bill Maher":
You should know my favorite show is the Office and yes, I am a member of the Lake Charles, La Dunder Mifflin Infinity online branch. My regional manager is a total right wing butthead. So! In the hopes that he reads this.

"New Rule: You can't be president if you practice a violent Middle Eastern religion and worship a genocidal desert god. Which is why Sarah Palin can't be president.

Now, all the churches that Sarah Palin has attended --and she's been to almost as many churches as she has colleges--have one thing in common: a belief that the Bible is literally true. She's not "Country First," she's "Bible First." And not just the New Testament. That's the happy half of the Good Book: the baby in the manger, Jesus doing magic tricks, long, romantic walks on the water that turn into fishing trips with the guys. And a generally positive message. Jesus, after all, preached love and forgiveness, not shooting wolves from an airplane.

The problem is, "Governor Avon Lady" --she takes the Old Testament literally, too. And in that one, God is an insecure, rage-filled hybrid of Bobby Knight and Suge Knight. He's been alive forever and he has anger issues. He's like John McCain if McCain could fart hail.

He's pro-slavery, pro-polygamy, and homophobic, and he'll kill you for masturbating. More people get stoned in the Old Testament than in my Jacuzzi. Not that I have to tell you guys.

If there was --if there was a video of Barack Obama standing in front of his congregation being healed by a black witch doctor, this election would be over. But there is that video of Sarah Palin.



So, ask your witch doctor if exorcism is right for you.

And, I don't say "witch doctor" because he's black. I say it because when you're rebuking witches, you're a witch doctor. Witch doctor, folks! This is our country. We've got to get it back from the forces of organized superstition!

People like Bush and Palin simply cannot think clearly because they're in a big, scary, brainwashing cult, and it warps their thinking so much that they're actually horny for the end of the world. And that is not someone I want with the nuclear codes. So, remember that video, and remember that Sarah Palin said --and I quote --"I think I will see Jesus come back to earth in my lifetime."

To which I say, "Hasn't Jesus suffered enough?" "


From Me:
I still think neither are very good choices but in this country with a rigged electoral college system, the choice between turd taco and poop sandwhich seems pretty clear to me.

You Look Fat

This morning, the first thing my chef said to me was "Looks like someone is gaining some weight!". Then later she said it was because my skirt is tight. Like that makes it any better? Yesterday, I overheard her tell Jacques who was in the bathroom, "Looks like someone's got the runs this morning". Who taught this lady manners? Seriously. Aren't there things you're just not supposed to say out loud? Well there should be.