Tools, Whores, & Golddiggers

Good Afternoon, your telly connoisseur here, back again to talk about a trio of new Vh1 shows gettin' ready to pop out atcha. Hilarity and absurdity ensue...

Tool Academy, Sundays at 9 CST, Vh1: I'd like to start off with my new favorite show (replacing supreme guilty pleasure pain, The Pick-Up Artist for the season). Nine frustrated women, all dating complete tools, will take one last chance at reforming them by enrolling them in the only place that can make a difference and transform them... the Tool Academy. The best part? When they arrived the tools were told they were on a show called "Mr. Awesome" and they bounded off the bus doing flips, splits, flexing for the cameras and chanting "awesome! awesome! awesome!..." The standout so far? A preening, "man-panty" loving stripper self-named
"Matsuflex".
Rock of Love Bus. Mondays at 9 CST, Vh1: Apparently Bret Michaels can't get enough of the std-ridden skanks. In season three of Rock of Love, he takes the "ladies" on tour with him. In the very first episode, one of them sticks a shooter tube in her most holy of lady places and offers it to Bret. He promptly took the shot, and then sent her packing the very next day. ew and what did you expect? My favorite?
A Brazillian angry-drunk with a penchant for tequila, Marci.
I hope she actually chokes someone out next time.

I Love Money 2. Mondays at 9 CST, Vh1. This show premiers February 2nd but after watching "Pumpkin" put cayenne pepper in her eyes on the first season after admitting she didn't know what it was, you can bet we'll be watching the new season. Skanks and Tools alike from the parade of dating shows compete together on this show which forces them to compete in challenges and vote each other off in order to win a large sum of money . Who am I excited to see? The French "streeper",
Angelique:

"Ice"

the tall blond who admitted Flavor Flav was not attractive and was on the show to get famous...without being asked.

Saaphryi, my girl who was kicked out on the first day for beating up a girl whose bed she wanted then asked her if she wanted some "lip chap"
and hopefully a (literally) knock-out reunion between

Tailor Made

& Buddah

arch enemies from I Love New York 2.

Ahh.... retarded people acting like retards. Doesn't get much better than thisHey, and if you think I'm being mean, they sign up for it. So I get to laugh at them.